01 I think I suffer from depression. I would tell you for certain if I could actually afford to go to a doctor, let alone if I trusted any of them. Every so often, I get woken up in the middle of the night feeling as though my life is worthless and there really isn’t a point in going on.I pray to God that he makes those feelings stop and after about 15 minutes of soothing classical music, I manage to go back to to sleep.Feeling chronically sad like this is not a palatable feeling to have at all. I have hidden these tendencies away from my family successfully but it would be nice to never have to feel that way again.In 2015, I was at my all time lowest. I spent time at home all day and often tried to associate with people in my congregation, most of whom hadn’t let go of their prejudice regimes. Day in and day out I would cry at the most random moments of the day. I really didn’t see the purpose of my existence.There came a time when I realised that nobody is coming to save me and that if I wanted to stop feeling the way I did, I had to save myself. That’s when I discovered self help blog. I used to read about depression, self-doubt, feelings of inadequacy and so forth. I then graduated from working on my feelings to working on my productivity. I wanted to find out how to use my time better to develop myself instead of spend the day wallowing or wondering about. So I took up a number of hobbies (illustration, photography, bible study, had a hand at animation once, a few creative things here and there).I found a blog that explained that some mental health diseases are a cause of malnourishment and that our hormones are not nourished well
02 enough to stabilise our emotions. So I started reading a juicing book that one of my sisters had bought a few years ago. I would make myself a green juice every now and again. I started to feel changes in my mental state. I got really tired for one(because my body was in a state of detox), but my body was receiving nutrients it hadn’t had before and it recognised certain nutrients that ot could start to metabolise for better function of my organs that it was getting from low grade food in the past. My body recognised the upgrade so it started to signal that it wanted more of the good stuff (the right stuff). So instead of waking up and consciously deciding to make myself a juice, I would wake up looking forward to it because my body would crave it on my behalf.Something phenomenal happened, I started to gain energy to focus on improving my quality of life. I wanted to live better whereas before I had no desire to get out of a funk. I started with controlling the things closest to me like my bedroom. It needed to be cleaned. It wasn’t messy or dirty but it ended to reflect the purpose I wanted to fee in the day. S every morning I would intentionally clean and the place things in a way that gave me life through painting, drawings, placement of furniture and an organised closet that would let me seamlessly sort through my clothing.Pretty soon, I gain so much energy that I started to incorporate exercise into my routine. I would workout for 10–20 minutes every morning and like with the green smoothies I only had to start a few times until my body depended on exercising to function.
03 Next I read about how cold showers offered a shock to the brain that would give you a jolt of energy in the morning to get you through the day.These three things: green smoothing, exercise, cleaning & cold showers damn near saved my life. My body was receiving the support it needed to overcome feelings of worthlessness because those feelings weren’t coming to out of nowhere. It can from the fact that I had no energy or nourishment to propel me to work towards something and while I could blame my lack of motivation or my lack of industriousness, giving my body the vital energy that it needed provided me with the energy to even want the things people usually want to improve their quality of life.So I share the information with you because I want people to know that health, fitness, grooming and intentional lifestyle changes are not things that should be pegged towards materialism. Rather they are a reflection of the beautiful life that God wants us to live. And instead of chasing money or a particular body shape that you think you should have in order to feel good about yourself, chase the feeling of worth. That can only happen internally but the support comes from nourishment, movement and controlling things in your environment so you can attract a more godly outlook on life. 04 In conclusion I would like to add that eating clean, cleaning my environment and dressing modestly clean each day has really proven to me that cleanliness is next to godliness and that the reverse of this principles (bad food, messy environment and unkempt grooming) reflects not upon god, but his enemy. So I strive to live on the clean side of life in every way humanly possible.
